


Two Lines

by Backtogiality



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Baby Harry, F/M, Fluff, James Potter is a dork, Lily just wants a break, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marriage, Pregnancy, Remus Is The Voice Of Reason, Sirius is always drunk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:21:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24082000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Backtogiality/pseuds/Backtogiality
Summary: Little snippets of Lily's pregnancy, told through a series of oneshots. James is not prepared, Sirius wants the coveted title of 'Godfather' and Remus just wants a rest. Lily's the one who has to put up with them all. It's bound to go wrong. If anyone has a better summary than this, please put me out of my misery.
Relationships: James Potter & Lily Evans Potter, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10
Collections: marauders





	1. Two Lines

**Author's Note:**

  * For [myself lol sorry](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=myself+lol+sorry).



> chaos chaos chaos

  
  


Two lines.

“Holy shit,” Lily whispered, her shaking hands dropping the stick. There were two lines. The second was very faint, yes, but she couldn’t have imagined it. Two lines meant positive. Two lines meant she was pregnant. She’d been convincing herself for days that it was impossible - Marlene was being stupid: she’d gotten sick indulging (quite reluctantly) in James’ newfound love of cooking, and they were just out of school, and there was a bloody _war_ going on. It was no surprise that her period was late. But as she picked it up and blinked once, twice, three times, there was no denying it.

Lily couldn’t fathom why she hadn’t just gone to St Mungo’s, or used a pregnancy detection charm. She certainly hadn’t seen the need, taking a test only to prevent Alice and Marlene from nagging at her any longer. Or perhaps Lily, quite secretly, still put more faith in the muggle ways of doing things. Either way, she was pregnant with her (admittedly lovable) idiot of a husband’s child. 

She wasn’t really sure what it was she was supposed to feel. Excited, probably. Nervous, almost certainly. And while those were both present in the cocktail of emotions she was feeling, sickness was the most prominent, proven as she threw up the contents of that morning’s breakfast.

Three more tests and a cautionary charm later, she was done stalling. Praying her Gryffindor bravery would make itself useful, she left the bathroom in search of James. She found him in the living room, draped languidly over the couch, legs dangling over the arm. He was glaring crossly at the Rubik’s cube she’d given him for Christmas, his brows knitted together. If he managed to solve it, he’d be rewarded with a couple of diary entries Lily had written during their first few months of dating - because as annoying as James could be, it wouldn’t kill her to stroke his ego a little bit. He sighed frustratedly, running a hand through the unruly hair she’d come to love. When she cleared her throat, he turned to smile radiantly at her.

“Hello, love,” said James. He carefully set aside the puzzle and patted the space next to him.

It was best just to get it over with, Lily decided, so she shoved his legs away and sat down, ignoring the childish pout he sent her.

“Wizards can’t get divorced,” she said. It was more of a question than a statement, but her pride wouldn’t allow her to phrase it that way. She realised her mistake when James’ head snapped up, his whole body seeming to stiffen.

“Oh, don’t be stupid, James. I’m stuck with you for life. I’ve resigned myself to it now, unfortunately.”

James grabbed her by the waist, pulling her closer. “Ridiculous. You’ve tried staying away from me before, and look how that turned out, Mrs Potter. You just can’t resist me.”

“Hmm,” Lily hummed. “I’ve always preferred Remus, actually. We’re much more alike, and he reads books.”

“I like books about Quidditch. And Remus, really? I’ve got way better hair than Remus,” he demonstrated this by messing up his hair again.

Lily swatted his hand away. “And a more insufferable personality, if you want to add that to the list.”

“Never you mind that. What have I done that’s gotten you to consider a divorce? I swear, I got rid of the Niffler right after Sirius gave it to me. Well, almost, we just wanted to see it go nuts when it saw some gold stuff,” James said, wincing and raising his hands in surrender as his wife’s eyes narrowed. 

“Thank you for enlightening me about _that_ incident. And it’s nothing you’ve done. Well, technically-” She was cut off as James leaned in to kiss her, a habit he’d developed quite quickly once he discovered her habit for rambling. In all honestly, she liked it. A lot.

“Just tell me what’s going on, flower.”

“I’m pregnant.”

James’ mouth opened and closed like a fish for a moment. He leaned back to survey her, as if he expected she’d finally gotten revenge for the years of pranking she’d endured at his hands. Once he’d determined that this was _not_ the case, and that she wasn’t about to shout “Surprise!” at him, he stood up and began pacing. Every few steps, he’d look at her bemusedly before continuing.

“James, you’re going to wear a hole in the carpet,” Lily said, chewing her lip. 

It wasn’t enough to break him out of his reverie. Finally, he stopped, ran a hand down his face, and said, “Right. Okay.”

Then he did the last thing she’d expected him to do. James Potter promptly disapparated.

*

“Yes, Marlene! I’m telling you, I told him and he just buggered off!”

Marlene waved a hand. “The man’s crazy about you, he’s not going to be gone very long. Where do you keep the wine glasses, Lils?”

Lily pointed them out from her place perched on the countertop, silently protesting when Marlene took out her favourite (and most expensive) wine.

“What? It’s not like you’re going to be drinking it any time soon, are you?”

Lily rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help looking at the slightly-more-full-than-acceptable glass. What she’d give for one of those...

“Oh, don’t be silly. I’m celebrating your pregnancy! And you know _exactly_ where he is. Your husband is an easy man to predict. He’s with Sirius, Remus will most likely be there shortly and they’ll all be drinking firewhiskey whilst Sirius tries to convince him to name your child after him.”

“Merlin forbid I ever even consider naming my child after that man,” she snorted. “I’m telling you, he’s caused me more trouble than all three of the other boys combined - and that is saying something, when you consider James is involved in that list.”

She shuddered as she remembered Sirius’ interference in her life. First with the numerous pranks he’d pulled on her (despite James’ protests), his distant presence at both her first date with James and at the proposal, his convincing her to get on that damned death trap of a bike. Sirius Black was a nuisance if she’d ever seen one. But he was her brother, and she loved him in spite of all of it.

“I’ll drink to that. Let’s just hope that Remus _is_ there, and that he’s talking some sense into James as we speak. Now, onto more important topics - when you’re going to name me Godmother, and when you want your baby shower.”

*

Remus Lupin was, generally speaking, a man of punctuality. So it was just his luck that he arrived home to a very loud, and probably inebriated, Sirius Black shouting his name. Closing his eyes to the shouts of “Oi, Moony!”, he hung up his coat and made his way to the fireplace. 

Sirius’ flat was a mess, but that was nothing out of the ordinary. Bottles of firewhiskey littered the floor, glasses collecting dust on the counters. 

“Moony!” Shouted Sirius. He was sprawled spread-eagled across the sofa, very obviously drunk. “Come and tell Prongs he needs a drink!”

James was slouched in a rather worn-out armchair in the corner of the room, his face white as a sheet. He gripped a glass of untouched alcohol, staring at nothing. It was as if he’d been hit with a particularly nasty confundus charm. 

‘Lord have mercy,’ Remus thought as he approached the two.

When calling James’ name did absolutely nothing, he reluctantly began questioning Sirius. 

“Didn’t you hear, Moony? Our Lily-flower is pregnant!”

Remus tried not to be disturbed by the chosen pronoun, instead choosing to focus his attention on James, who was now blinking excessively, as if the action would wake him up from a dream.

“That’s brilliant, mate! When did you find out?”

“Just now,” James said quietly.

“And the first person he came to...was me,” Sirius said proudly, brandishing his glass at Remus.

Remus audibly groaned, his head falling into his hands. “You two are hopeless. You,” he said, pointing to Sirius. “Need to sober up. And James, you’re a massive prick! What were you thinking, leaving your wife alone like that?”

To his relief, James had the good grace to look guilty.

“ _Actually_ , Remus, his prick is exactly what caused the problem. And now look at him! He’s _broken!_ ”

‘Oh dear God,’ the werewolf thought, reaching for the firewhiskey himself. 'As usual, I'm left to pick up the pieces.'

*

It was almost midnight when James stumbled through the fireplace, gulping as he saw his wife sitting in the exact same spot he’d left her in. Bathed in the soft glow of the ceiling light, she looked just as gorgeous as ever - but her face was nearly as red as her hair. Not a good sign. And he could have sworn he saw her pull her wand out of her pocket. He was in for it.

“And where have you been?” Lily asked in a tone laced with venom.

He considered this for a moment. “Not where I should have been?”

James was relieved when she put her wand back in her pocket. Right answer.

“You _should_ have been here, but instead you went off to Sirius, leaving me alone and with no idea of when you were going to be home!”

“I’m sorry, Lily. I just- when you said you were…” he trailed off, his eyes falling on her abdomen.

“Pregnant,” she supplied patiently.

“I panicked. And I did something very, very stupid. But I love you, and I couldn’t be more excited because we’re going to have a baby, and I’m going to teach it how to play Quidditch and-”

Taking a leaf out of James’ book, she kissed him mid-speech. After a few moments, Lily pulled back.

“James Charlus Potter, if you ever leave like that again, I will hit you with a jelly legs jinx so good that you won’t be able to stand for weeks. Got it?”

When he nodded sadly at her, she couldn’t resist anymore and wrapped her arms around him. For now, they were a family of two. But it wouldn’t be long before there was another Potter to love, who hopefully wouldn’t be nearly as much trouble as their father.


	2. A Shitty Attempt at an Ultrasound by Yours Truly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily and James attend their first appointment at St Mungo's...but James can't get through it on his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saturday Night's Alright For making shitty fanfiction that Elton John would not approve of

St Mungo’s was a fairly ordinary building. At least, from the outside, it seemed that way. Crammed into muggle London, it appeared to muggles simply to be an old victorian-era home, dilapidated and ruined with time. To the witch or wizard, however, it offered much more than a late-night haunt for drunk teenagers and ghost-hunters - it was the most famous hospital in the wizarding world, an institution housing some of the world's best Healers. So it was no surprise that, upon entering the emergency ward, Lily and James Potter were confronted by some of the strangest maladies they'd ever seen.

The waiting area was large and sparsely furnished, with white-washed walls and rows of wooden chairs taking up the majority of the space. It was crowded, too, with a variety of witches and wizards reading the latest magazines. The unlucky ones who happened to be suffering from more serious elements groaned with pain, answering the questions of lime-green-wearing Healers with increasing frustration. One such wizard seemed to have acquired tentacles and was breaking out in painful-looking boils. Lily shuddered. She'd always hated hospitals.

"Come _on,_ James," she huffed, yanking him away - with some effort - from a wizard with rather large horns adorning his head.

"But...did you _see_ him? He had _horns,_ Lily! He's no satyr, how did he get those? I bet Sirius-"

"Right," Lily said, a wave of relief passing over her as she approached a Healer sitting at the registrations desk, "Brilliant. But we're going to be late if you don't start moving."

The healer in question was a long-nosed, short-haired woman. It appeared that her temper was just as short as her hair, for as soon as Lily told her what she was there for, she rolled her eyes, informed them that they were very late for their appointment and pointed to a room number. As they walked away, Lily could have sworn she heard her mutter "It's always the bloody gingers."

"Well, she was...interesting," James said, scratching his head awkwardly. 

Lily snorted in agreement and laced their fingers together. "You know, James," she mused, "You might be the second biggest idiot I've ever met, but at least you're not a complete arse."

James wasn't exactly sure how he was supposed to react to this, so he nodded meekly and followed down a brightly lit corridor until they reached a room marked 'M30'. 

Inside was a woman with, thankfully, a kinder, rounder face and light blonde hair. She smiled widely on seeing the couple, ushering them in with greetings and small talk. 

"I'm Healer Delaney," she said, reaching out to shake both of their hands. “But you can call me Devin. And you must be - she checked her chart - "Lily Potter?"

Lily nodded. Healer Delaney turned to James. "And you are...?"

"James. She's my wife. We're married."

Lily looked at him, completely exasperated.

Healer Delaney just laughed. "Sorry, I guessed you might be. I don't like to assume anything. Shall we start the exam?"

Lily opened her mouth to say yes, but James beat her to it.

"Well, actually, we might want to wait just a minute. Uh, Lily gets nervous in hospitals."

"Oh, well that's absolutely fine-"

But Lily wasn't listening. She was watching James with narrowed eyes. He was shifting from one foot to another, refusing to meet her eyes. 

"James Potter," she said tersely. "What have you done _this_ time?"

James shrugged. "I was just thinking of you, I know you get anxious. You're just- what's the word? Projecting."

Healer Delaney pressed her lips together, repressing her urge to laugh. Lily was not laughing with her, however. Her hands were twitching at her sides, ready to strangle her husband at any moment. 

"I'm _projecting?_ The one time you learn something from Remus, you use it against me!"

"Well, I...Oh, you're here!" The relief in James' voice was enough to frighten Lily, and she said a silent prayer before wheeling around to see what he was looking at.

Almost immediately, she regretted it. 

Sirius Black was closing the door behind him. A pair of sunglasses were perched ridiculously on his head. He leant up against the wall, hands folded behind his back.

"Sorry I'm late, Prongs, the bike got spotted a couple of times so there was some obliviation to be done. Nothing wrong with a dramatic entrance, though," he then spotted a seething Lily, who was now shaking with fury, "Ah, hello, Petal! I haven't seen you in a while."

"You saw me yesterday, Sirius. For dinner. What are you doing here?"

"James owled me yesterday. Needed moral support. And, as the Godfather of your baby, it seemed only fair that I should come along."

"Sirius, we've had this discussion already...no one's said you're going to be the Godfather."

James and Sirius exchanged a doubtful look, knowing full well that the two of them had already made that particular decision.

Lily smiled apologetically at the Healer, who was conveniently reexamining her chart. 

"Fine. Who's going to show up next? Remus? Peter? The Minister for bloody Magic?"

Sirius shook his head. "No. Peter's abroad, Remus is busy. Sends his love, though."

Lily put her reddening face in her hands, fully aware that if anyone said a single word more, she'd lose it. She raised a hand as James went to put an arm around her, daring him to try and touch her again.

"Okay, okay. I've had enough. Let's just get this over with."

Healer Delaney nodded sympathetically, motioning for Lily to lie back on a reclining seat. She asked her a number of questions, including the date of her last period, and for how long she’d been experiencing symptoms of pregnancy.

“Now, as for how far along you are…” 

Sirius laughed. “This’ll be interesting. At what time did you two…”

“I dare you to finish that sentence. Hit him, James,” Lily said. James, too afraid to risk angering his wife again, reluctantly punched Sirius in the arm.

“...I’d say about eight weeks, which would put you at a due date of about July 23rd. The nausea and sickness you’re experiencing should subside in a few weeks, but if it gets too much, lemon works for some women.”

Lily looked over to James and Sirius, who were now writing down everything the Healer had said. James appeared to have forgotten something, and Sirius pointed to the parchment to tell him what he’d missed. Noticing the silence in the room, their heads snapped up and they looked helplessly between the two women.

“Are we interrupting you?” Devin said lightly. 

“No, no. Not at all,” Sirius said, looking at her expectantly. James hit him again, with more gusto this time.

“Good. Well, we’re going to do an ultrasound now - muggle technology, but it gets the job done better than any spell could. I’m going to ask you to leave for a few minutes, Sirius,” she said, laughing at the indignant expression on his face. “This is a private moment between mother, father and baby.”

Sirius grumbled, but nodded. He sent a thumbs up to Lily on his way out. Neither Lily nor James had to look to know he had his face pressed up against the glass panel in the door, desperate to be a part of the action. 

James watched, completely enraptured, as Healer Delaney applied a gel to Lily’s stomach. She then brought out a strange device, hooked up to some sort of screen, and held it there. The radiant smile Lily sent him when their baby’s heartbeat filled the room took his breath away. The sound was faint, but it was fast - James thought his own heart must have matched it in speed. When she reached for his hand, he knew he was forgiven.

A moment passed, and then an image appeared on the screen. At first, he could barely make out anything, but Devin pointed out a little white blob in the midst of the grey. 

“That’s our baby,” Lily breathed, her eyes filling with tears. James felt himself glowing with the pride of a father.

“That’s my son,” he said. 

Lily wiped her tears away, turning to glare at him. “That’s ridiculous. Evans women always have female children.”

“Well, you’re not exactly a normal Evans woman, are you, love?”

Sensing a conflict beginning, Devin brought their attention to what looked like a little notch. “You see that? That’s an arm. Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Potter! You have a very healthy baby on the way.”

Never one to be left out, Sirius burst through the door on hearing this. He bounded towards James and clapped him on the shoulder, before giving Lily the most delicate hug he could manage. 

“Look at that, Prongs! My Godson looks just like you already!”

Devin ignored his antics and gave Lily some more information about what she was to expect in the coming weeks. Cravings, emotional fragility, sickness, weight gain - Lily took it all in, trying to ignore James as he meticulously noted down everything going on. She did get some joy out of watching his face pale when mood swings were mentioned. It served him right, she thought.

With a smile and a ‘good luck’ which was more directed at Lily than anybody else in the room, Healer Delaney sent them on their way. It was no surprise that Sirius followed them home to share dinner with them. It was a common occurrence, considering that he was an awful cook.

James figured that after an exhausting day, Lily might want him to make dinner. But when he suggested this, she sent a kind smile his way. 

“As much as I love your cooking, James, I think Sirius is going to want something...well...edible.”

“You’re going to have to step up your game, mate. She’s already outshining you as a parent.”

James wanted to be offended, but as he looked at the way Lily fussed over both of them, he couldn’t find it within himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya like jazz?
> 
> also sorry im not a teen mother so idk how this works it's just not very well thought through

**Author's Note:**

> this is kind of awful but I'm living so whatever


End file.
